Sometimes reflection on the hurdles of your past gives you internal strength to begin the next challenges life has placed before you. Twelve years ago, I sat in my MS specialist’s office in Denver, CO and heard the life changing words that I had Multiple Sclerosis. It was a Friday afternoon, and I was to start IV Solumderol treatment immediately. However, this infusion could not be adminstered in the office due to it being right before the weekend. I was instructed to return to the Emergency Room where I was ensured that I would just go in and advise of what needed to happen. Everything was a blur. I need an infusion of what? When I arrived at the ER, the doctor’s orders had not been transferred, I couldn’t recall what medication I needed, and so the ‘amazing’ healthcare system in the US treated me like I was some drug addict coming in off the street asking for an infusion of Solumedrol like it was a pain killer. Only after being held in isolation, waiting until they could get a hold of my doctor was I treated like a person again. There were many apologies, but this certainly left a bitter taste in my mouth for how patients can be mistreated when doctor’s offices do not follow through with their responsiblities.

I had a great fear of needles. All of a sudden, my life was full of injections, infusions and strange medications. What did this mean for my life? I was just beginning life in Colorado, 30 years old and really advancing my professional career. Although I was really happy to finally have an answer for the horrible symptoms I had been experiencing, now what?

I recall getting in the car, to go home, and the first song that came on the radio was “Good Riddance” by Green Day. I will never forget that moment and those words still mean so much to me in coping with this disease.

“Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don’t ask why
It’s not a question, but a lesson learned in time
It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right
I hope you had the time of your life

So take the photographs, and still-frames in your mind
Hang them on a shelf in good health and good time
Tattoo’s of memories and dead skin on trial
For what it’s worth, it was worth all the while
It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right
I hope you had the time of your life

It’s something unpredictable, but in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life
It’s something unpredictable, but in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life”

Since that time I have gone through several medication options, therapies, relapses, the inability to walk, losing my eyesight temporarily, complete numbness and weakness on my left side, being wheelchair bound, going through rehabilitation and learning to walk again, and moving on to really try to manage all the challenges this disease throws your way.

I have been very lucky in my life to work for a company who specializes in MS treatment and a found a therapy that allows me to continue my personal life and passions, including hiking and summitting mountains, biking, dancing, and broadening my professional career, expanding this last year to an international experience in Switzerland, something that 12 years ago, I would have never thought possible.

MS, just like any chronic illness or battle is a journey. They say whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. This statement I firmly believe. We are pushed sometimes in life to go beyond the boundaries of what we think we are mentally and physically capable of managing. Dealing with mostly an “invisible chronic illness” brings even more rigor to this extra challenge. When even your loved ones forget you are battling and fighting everyday, because they can’t see what you are facing, it adds a deep complexity to this challenge.

The great news is we are living in a time where there are so many therapies to help people with MS live a better quality of life. When I was diagnosed, there were a handful of therapies available. Prior to my diagnosis, there were very limited if any options. I’m grateful for SCIENCE, for biotechnology, and all the advances to help people cope with this disease.

And so with life, always you have twists, turns, new challenges, and sometimes obtascles you don’t want to manage or deal with. Everyone deals with something everyday. The answer for me is simple, one day at a time, doing what is right for yourself and your family, and living each day, because you are never promised tomorrow. If tomorrow comes, you can’t take for granted you will have the same capabilities yesterday offered you.

So on this 12th anniversary, I am happy to have learned so much from this disease, Mulitiple Sclerosis. It has taught me patience to manage the unknown, who my real friends and support systems consist of, and given me strength and courage to battle the next challenges I face in this crazy thing we call life. I end this blog post with more music, love to all my readers and supporters, and a strength and will to fight and carry on the best we can with what we have. Carpe Diem!

It’s no easy road
this struggle and strife
We find ourselves in the show of life
What’s on the schedule
What’s on your plan
Do you ever ignore
What you don’t understand?

Don’t ask me ’cause I don’t know
I just fasten my seat belt wherever I go

It’s been perfectly planned
it’s completely insane
it’s a revolving cast
but it’s the same old game

Waves of people
They come and they go
Shine for a while
It’s a marvelous show

It’s a limited time that we exist
We slowly make our way into the mist

My thoughts are racing
I see faces of the friends that I recall
I’d like to take this time to thank you all

Just as the blind imagine
what it is to have sight
We slowly take a stroll into the night

It’s no easy road
This struggle and strife
We find ourselves in the show of life

In the show of life
In the show of life
(Find myself right here)

Phish